FALSE HOGS

Do not let their names fool you. These things are not and will never be hogs. I will show you the disrespect of these frauds who are souring the hog name.


GROUNDHOG

groundhog

Just because you can predict the coming of spring doesn't make you special.


HEDGEHOG

hedgehog

Go curl up into a ball about it.


LONGSNOUT BOARFISH

longsnout boarfish

M.C. Escher looking ass


GUINEA PIG

guinea pig

Wheek about it all you want, you'll never be a true hog.


PIG'S EAR

pig's ear

Zero resemblance to the ear of a pig. Get out of here.


PIG-NOSED TURTLE

pig-nosed turtle

You're doing a sorry job pretending to be a hog. You didn't even get the nose right. Do better.


HOGNOSE SNAKE

hognose snake

Another wiseguy who thinks they can pretend to have a proper snout like a real hog? You did terrible. Be ashamed of yourself.


HOGFISH

hogfish

NOT what a hog would look like if it got turned into a fish.


HAIRLESS GUINEA PIG

hairless guinea pig

What the fuck,


LESSER SWINE CRESS

lesser swine cress

What's so lesser about it? I'm going to munch on you until you're nothing. You're lunch to me.


HOGWASH

Insulting to associate hogs with this negative word. I’ll show you a real “hog wash”:

hogwash

Oh yeah that's what I'm talking about!!


PIGFISH

pigfish

Too small. Put that thing back into the water where it belongs.


HOGSUCKER

hogsucker

Now that’s just vulgar.